It’s no accident that the majority of our growth occurs in the most uncomfortable or even unbearable situations. When we are comfortable, we have no need to grow or change. We are comfortable. It is in the undesirable circumstances , the storms that seem to be doorways to growth  . . . however long it takes for us to walk through it is up to us. We can fight it; but ultimately that change must take place . . . either that or we grow old standing in the doorway, but never walking through.

Life is a series of these doorways . . . doorways that build character, integrity, stability, endurance, perserverance, wisdom . . .  Now, I don’t know if I will ever actually desire or long for these doorways to growth and change; but if that is what it takes to stretch and grow me, so be it! As easy as it is to forget when you’re in the storm, I know I am not in this process alone. One of many things that connect all of us are undesirable circumstances. Let’s celebrate these moments. And if you happen to be standing at the doorway of something tough, walk through it. You’re not alone and you’ll turn out better on the other side.

James Chapter 1

It’s days like these when I asked myself, “How in the world can I continue with all these things going on?” Things I can’t control. I’ve been a follower of Christ long enough to know all the “right” things to say to someone who is in the middle of a storm; but sometimes, I just want to sit down with David and say, “I know what you mean”.

Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. Psalm 42:11

Yep, David knew. David was not in denial about his situations. He is talking to his own soul. He acknowledged his surrounds and yet had hope. I am having one of those days today. Why are you so disturbed, my soul? Put your hope in God, for I will still praise Him, my Rescuer and my God.

Looking out at the horizon. . . metaphorically speaking. We are approaching another possible crossroad in our lives. I’m bringing it before God and setting it down. We are not even there, yet I feel the “this could be God” feeling in the pit of my stomach. The kind of feeling that you beg God for some sort of confirmation for. The path has not been easy but certainly fulfilling. I am not praying for the decision to be an easy one, just obvious. Thank Christ.

Where has this year gone?!?! 2008 seems like it just flew by and didn’t stop for hitchhikers! If you an I are at all alike, I know that this time of years brings alot of self inventory and reflection. Questions like, “Where was I this time last year” and “Where will I be next year” are at the forefront of my mind.

For some, these may be great thoughts. For others, not so much. My prayer is that we clear our slate and start fresh. Forgive ourselves as God forgives us. Learn from our mistakes and let the hard times grow us. Celebrate the sucessess in life and learn to rest in between the storms. At this moment, my heart is rejoicing. Tomorrow is another day. In the pain and the joy, blessed be Your Name.

Yesterday, we had our fourth baby. I am awestruck. A new life, a future right before me. How could I be responsible for his little one? Does God believe in me that much? As we speak, I can hear our new little guy making baby noises. Unbelievable. Cara is such an inspiration. . . she handled it like a pro! And those who have surrounded us with love during this time makes it all the more special. Words cannot express.

Everyone sees the world based on the experiences they have had. Bad and good experiences produce your worldview. Over all the amazingly tough and amazingly amazing experiences I have had over the last two years have completely change my worldview. How I view people, circumstance, pain and success is totally different from even a year ago. The personality and heart of God is so much different than what I knew. In pain, another attribute of God. When you see other’s in pain, a whole other side of God emerges. You must open up to it though. Pain is just that unless you allow yourself to see God in the middle of it. At that point, your pain no longer is about you; but becomes about what God is allowing you to grow through. Other pain . . . when you allow God to affect your worldview, you are able to see God even in the midst of others pain. It’s a beautiful thing. Like seeing a story unfold right before our eyes. See the beauty in the pain and successes and let it alter our worldview.

-K

PS: I did not get to check my grammer or spelling. Forgiveness glady accepted.

I’m going to make this quick. I’m at my desk. Very small office. As far as my life, I feel like I am on the other side of the storm. You know what I mean? It feels like over the last year, God has been seriously cleaning house and I have a hard time letting him throw my things away. I have a fake plant someone gave me for my high school graduation still sitting in my garage. When God comes to clean house, it hurts. Things need thrown away and gotten rid of. I am learning to let those things go. The fake plant in the garage will be gone soon (one thing at a time, please).

Seriously, did you not know that you get an hour of internet a day at your local library? I didn’t. Not to mention it’s been years since I’ve been in an environment where I can actually hear the wheels spinning in my head. It’s so quiet in here. Surely the library could use a more proper name. The word library makes me think of homework and studying, thus the reason it has been since elementary school when I stepped into one of these “Sanctuaries”. Or maybe just a sanctuary where anyone can come and be in peace. No elevator music, no having to decide which coffee drink I’m in the mood for today. Nope, just the occasional tapping of the keyboards and ruffle of the pages. I feel drawn to spend more time here. Rubbing elbows with those who are no so much different from  me, I might eventually get past the typical “Good Morning” into something more like, “What are you reading?” or “How’s the family?” Well, my hour is about half over.

-K

Tonight we’re going to be eating chili with friends. These are the times that go down as memories. So many challenges in the last few months I can’t even begin to recall. I truly wish I could see down the road a year or so. No doubt these challenges are building my character and preparing me for the next season; but it’s so hard to think that way when you’re in the midst of almost unbearable stress and uncertainty.

We have to be so careful that bitterness does not grow unnoticed. I want to grow a lot of things; but bitterness is not one of them. Things will get better . . . they have already. It just seems as if sometimes circumstances need to get worst before they get better.

Refining . . . pruning . . . whatever you call it, it either kills you or make you grow. Here’s to getting better and not bitter.

-K

As the seasons change, so do we. Circumstances change and we can either adjust with them or fight them. Ultimately change is inevitable.

Some changes in our personal life have surfaced some pretty tough decisions. Financially, we are having to cut back everything that is not an absolute necessity. That means by-by internet for now and possibly by-by cell phones at the end of October. We’re not fighting it. The seasons are just changing.

Some days the decisions are easy and some-days they’re not. Thank you for your prayers and support. This will be my last blog for awhile.

-K

Join 2 other followers